I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
