youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
