Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize