I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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