I'm gonna have a badass scar
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
