Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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