John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Less talking, more tequila
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Boobs speak an international language.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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