I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
