Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
