You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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