Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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