so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's never too late to be topless.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
