we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
