its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
is it fun? or sober?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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