You're so nebulous sometimes
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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