yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
