question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
handjob tips. give me some.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
