Duck Duck Cougar?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
