But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
