I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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