Don't you send me to vm
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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