This girl is more easily done than said...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
