So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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