Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
