I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
