Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
