O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
