Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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