why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
