Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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