Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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