literally had 100 drinks last night.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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