I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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