C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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