dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
