How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
