i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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