You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
