Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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