come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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