She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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