worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
