oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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