well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
