so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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