I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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