i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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