So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I forget how to act sober
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