we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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