I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
