from now on my penis is your penis
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.