she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night