Don't you send me to vm
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.