sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.