Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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