Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.

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  (678): There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me. http://tfl.nu/i6y1
  Replies (53) Good night (4577) Bad night (836)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius

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  (203): You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius http://tfl.nu/w3wu
  Replies (32) Good night (12954) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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  (404): dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs http://tfl.nu/cgkd
  Replies (58) Good night (1116) Bad night (12355)
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  (845): View more from New York

  just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism

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  (845): just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism http://tfl.nu/ktmw
  Replies (15) Good night (5307) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

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  (732): the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine. http://tfl.nu/ewch
  Replies (18) Good night (1889) Bad night (4175)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.

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  (727): My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out. http://tfl.nu/gjqc
  Replies (5) Good night (8466) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs

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  (301): not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs http://tfl.nu/cui3
  Replies (6) Good night (2673) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

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  (812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1440) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  None of those words made sense together.

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  (612): So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life (1-612): None of those words made sense together. http://tfl.nu/fi74
  Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.

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  (813): Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this. http://tfl.nu/u3i1
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.

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  (917): All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come. http://tfl.nu/y4z2
  Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.

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  (712): I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair. http://tfl.nu/sv3u
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.

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  (785): I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here. http://tfl.nu/kjaj
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.

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  (732): Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul. http://tfl.nu/smd4
  Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.

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  (516): I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/c92d
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (370)

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