I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
