ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.