when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
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I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
about cumming, not toast