As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team