how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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