this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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