I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
