you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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