i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize