we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
