just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
